Separated at 32. Divorced at 33. Dating at 34. Not really how I imagined my life going. Toss in single motherhood, trauma, PTSD, and overwhelming grief. I stood staring ahead at my new life wondering how I got here and where I am going to go. In the beginning, I was optimistic. Reading others stories … More Loving after divorce
It was my wedding anniversary the other day. Well you know. What would have been my anniversary. The past few years I dreaded the upcoming day. For it reminded me of what I no longer had. I would mourn the vows spoken, the love gone, and the couple that celebrated a union. Gritting my teeth, … More Creating space for emotions of divorce
“I don’t know if I will ever be able to forgive her.” I said these words to my mom in a video message. I couldn’t say it to her on the phone but I had to get them off my chest. Knowing my heart is still bleeding and carrying heavy burdens from the past four … More If forgiveness never comes
No one talks about it. The gray part of divorce. The legal process is very black and white. Everything is laid out on paper. A timeline of how it will go. Cold and blunt. Spelled out down to each day and time. Form after form filled out and filed. A union disintegrated. Boxes checked. Signatures … More The gray part of divorce
A broken home. We all have described divorce this way. Yes. Even me. Maybe we thought since the marriage was unable to thrive, therefore, the family that was made is damaged and broken. Maybe we think we know how the divorce came about so we assume we know how the family unit looks. Broken. Cracked. … More My children are not growing up in a “broken” home
I have never been one for gratitude. Now, don’t take me wrong. I am a firm believer in being thankful and showing my gratitude towards others. Every morning, I tell God thank you for this day and what my life includes. Also, I am prone to show gratitude in little acts of love. But the … More 30 days of gratitude made me more present in my everyday life
I am a saver. I tried to save my marriage. I tried to save my former husband. I tried to save my little family we created. I tried to save the image and dream I thought I wanted for my life. I tried by loving fiercely. Living in fear. Controlled by insecurities. Tightening the hold … More Saving myself
I wish I could say it is a beautiful, graceful, elegant dance. With me, executing each step precisely and correctly. Hitting the mark with each turn, each twirl, each jump. A show everyone would want to watch. Maybe even a few would brave the dance themselves. But the truth is moving forward looks a lot … More The art of moving forward
As I am facing down the third anniversary of the end of my marriage, I am bombarded with flashbacks. Those days leading up and after. How scared I was. How hurt I was. How flabbergasted I was. Not understanding why or how this was happening. Yet, I remember thinking that this is short term. Soon … More I am not getting over my divorce
I forgive you. These words came out of my mouth suddenly. Unexpectedly. Unintended. In the midst of crying and pain, I said these three simple words. Simple but powerful words. The churning and clenching in my stomach stopped. The shaking subsided. Calmness overcame me. I said them again. Louder. Clearer. Steadier. I meant it. Years … More I forgave him and I will do it again and again
Lovely in the Dark 