Hey God, It’s me, Katie. Are You listening? Can You hear me? Because sometimes it feels like You aren’t. Or maybe I am not talking loud enough. Or am I not doing it right? The prayer thing. The believing thing. Cause here is the thing. I do. Believe. Working on the trust. But I love … More Hey God, it’s me. Are You listening?
“I don’t know if I will ever be able to forgive her.” I said these words to my mom in a video message. I couldn’t say it to her on the phone but I had to get them off my chest. Knowing my heart is still bleeding and carrying heavy burdens from the past four … More If forgiveness never comes
I am a saver. I tried to save my marriage. I tried to save my former husband. I tried to save my little family we created. I tried to save the image and dream I thought I wanted for my life. I tried by loving fiercely. Living in fear. Controlled by insecurities. Tightening the hold … More Saving myself
I forgive you. These words came out of my mouth suddenly. Unexpectedly. Unintended. In the midst of crying and pain, I said these three simple words. Simple but powerful words. The churning and clenching in my stomach stopped. The shaking subsided. Calmness overcame me. I said them again. Louder. Clearer. Steadier. I meant it. Years … More I forgave him and I will do it again and again
I am a believer. I always have been. My relationship with God and Jesus has grown and deepened in the past few years. The early days of my separation, I threw myself into the word. Praying. Worship. Fellowship. I handed over my hurts, my fears, my struggles, my heart. I said take it. Keep it … More Waiting for the next time
We live in a society where it is only acceptable to show happiness, joy, thankfulness, and gratefulness. We are constantly showing our best pictures and happiest moments to each other. We are awarded positive comments and feedback when we are #blessed and #thankful. We are uncomfortable with sorrow, pain, struggle, grief, hurt, loneliness, darkness, anger, … More When gratefulness isn’t good
I thought I was doing a really good job of letting go of my perfectionism. But it a part of me that keeps popping up over and over again. I am much better about striving for perfect. Giving up control. Giving it to God. All those fun little sayings. Here is the thing about me. … More How do I stop trying to be good and just be me?
The darkness makes me believe that it will never get better. Every time. When the darkness lasts for a day, a week, a month, a year. I am tricked into believing and accepting this is permanent. Winter is never going to end. The cold never changing. The days will be gloomy, gray, and long forever. … More Spring will always arrive as does the light
The pressure has been building. Slowly. Slipping in. The reality of my life. Divorce. Single mom. Sole responsibility. Winter. Depression. I guess I thought it would be easier now. Two years in. The pain more a dull throb than a hot intense burn. The hard doesn’t reflect how it was in the beginning. But it … More A pleading prayer from my weary heart
Instant gratification is something most people my age and older like to place on younger generations. The millennials and younger. The children we are raising now. Because they have always had technology at their finger tips. Choices upon choices of toys, shows, events to keep them occupied and content. Moments of deep concern in my … More The emptiness of instant gratification