Hey God, It’s me, Katie. Are You listening? Can You hear me? Because sometimes it feels like You aren’t. Or maybe I am not talking loud enough. Or am I not doing it right? The prayer thing. The believing thing. Cause here is the thing. I do. Believe. Working on the trust. But I love … More Hey God, it’s me. Are You listening?
Healing is… Messy. Ugly. Embarrassing. Because one must break and let all of what is rotting inside out. Crying on the closet floor. Saying words that are coated with bitterness and resentment. Voicing the deepest, darkest thoughts, that are buried so far down light never hits, out loud. Bringing out the worst in a person. … More Healing is…
“I don’t know if I will ever be able to forgive her.” I said these words to my mom in a video message. I couldn’t say it to her on the phone but I had to get them off my chest. Knowing my heart is still bleeding and carrying heavy burdens from the past four … More If forgiveness never comes
I am a saver. I tried to save my marriage. I tried to save my former husband. I tried to save my little family we created. I tried to save the image and dream I thought I wanted for my life. I tried by loving fiercely. Living in fear. Controlled by insecurities. Tightening the hold … More Saving myself
I forgive you. These words came out of my mouth suddenly. Unexpectedly. Unintended. In the midst of crying and pain, I said these three simple words. Simple but powerful words. The churning and clenching in my stomach stopped. The shaking subsided. Calmness overcame me. I said them again. Louder. Clearer. Steadier. I meant it. Years … More I forgave him and I will do it again and again
I have always been scared. Scared of the unknown. Getting hurt. Living alone. Being left. Not having enough money. Not being liked or pretty enough or smart enough or sexy enough. Making mistakes. Enduring physical assault. Feeling pain. I lived a very long time allowing my fears to live for me. When my marriage was … More Today, these are my fears
I am a believer. I always have been. My relationship with God and Jesus has grown and deepened in the past few years. The early days of my separation, I threw myself into the word. Praying. Worship. Fellowship. I handed over my hurts, my fears, my struggles, my heart. I said take it. Keep it … More Waiting for the next time