Separated at 32. Divorced at 33. Dating at 34. Not really how I imagined my life going. Toss in single motherhood, trauma, PTSD, and overwhelming grief. I stood staring ahead at my new life wondering how I got here and where I am going to go. In the beginning, I was optimistic. Reading others stories … More Loving after divorce
I remember sitting in my therapist’s office in the early days of my separation. She stated it takes half the length of the relationship to be over it. Okay. Not her exact words, but I can’t remember. Yet I will never forget. I held on it those words. A sort of prayer. A sort of … More What I wish I knew about divorce
It was my wedding anniversary the other day. Well you know. What would have been my anniversary. The past few years I dreaded the upcoming day. For it reminded me of what I no longer had. I would mourn the vows spoken, the love gone, and the couple that celebrated a union. Gritting my teeth, … More Creating space for emotions of divorce
Healing is… Messy. Ugly. Embarrassing. Because one must break and let all of what is rotting inside out. Crying on the closet floor. Saying words that are coated with bitterness and resentment. Voicing the deepest, darkest thoughts, that are buried so far down light never hits, out loud. Bringing out the worst in a person. … More Healing is…
I get asked about how I got through. Those early days, weeks, months, and now years. I usually chuckle and shake my head. Because, I have no idea. Really. Honest truth. I look back and I am amazed I got through those first two years. When I say I have changed, how could I not … More How I got through those early years of divorce
“I don’t know if I will ever be able to forgive her.” I said these words to my mom in a video message. I couldn’t say it to her on the phone but I had to get them off my chest. Knowing my heart is still bleeding and carrying heavy burdens from the past four … More If forgiveness never comes
No one talks about it. The gray part of divorce. The legal process is very black and white. Everything is laid out on paper. A timeline of how it will go. Cold and blunt. Spelled out down to each day and time. Form after form filled out and filed. A union disintegrated. Boxes checked. Signatures … More The gray part of divorce
A broken home. We all have described divorce this way. Yes. Even me. Maybe we thought since the marriage was unable to thrive, therefore, the family that was made is damaged and broken. Maybe we think we know how the divorce came about so we assume we know how the family unit looks. Broken. Cracked. … More My children are not growing up in a “broken” home
I have never been one for gratitude. Now, don’t take me wrong. I am a firm believer in being thankful and showing my gratitude towards others. Every morning, I tell God thank you for this day and what my life includes. Also, I am prone to show gratitude in little acts of love. But the … More 30 days of gratitude made me more present in my everyday life
I am a saver. I tried to save my marriage. I tried to save my former husband. I tried to save my little family we created. I tried to save the image and dream I thought I wanted for my life. I tried by loving fiercely. Living in fear. Controlled by insecurities. Tightening the hold … More Saving myself
Lovely in the Dark 