“Katie, I don’t hear joy in anything you just listed.” I sat there looking at my doctor. Stunned. I had been talking about the extreme fatigue I had been experiencing lately. Between that and some weight gain, I worried it was my thyroid. I was listing off all the things I try to do in … More Depression sucks the joy out of my life
Hey God, It’s me, Katie. Are You listening? Can You hear me? Because sometimes it feels like You aren’t. Or maybe I am not talking loud enough. Or am I not doing it right? The prayer thing. The believing thing. Cause here is the thing. I do. Believe. Working on the trust. But I love … More Hey God, it’s me. Are You listening?
Think of depression as a really big room. Basketball court size. And all around the outside walls are doors. Dozens and dozens of doors. I am standing in the middle of the room with the doors open wide. Light streaming in. Heat from the sun warming the space. Colors highlighting the walls and floor. Happy … More The doors of depression
Healing is… Messy. Ugly. Embarrassing. Because one must break and let all of what is rotting inside out. Crying on the closet floor. Saying words that are coated with bitterness and resentment. Voicing the deepest, darkest thoughts, that are buried so far down light never hits, out loud. Bringing out the worst in a person. … More Healing is…
How to stay in the present and attempt to be mindful when living with depression and anxiety? This was one of the topics asked of me to hit on the month of May for Mental Health Awareness Month. Here are a few things that I have been doing more and more lately and have seen … More How to be more present and mindful while living with a mental illness
We talk about ending the stigma of mental illness. We seek acceptance on living with depression, anxiety, bipolar disorder, and more. We share our stories. We claim I am 1 in 5. We ink permanent reminders on our bodies for a constant picture to keep going. We demand to be seen. To be heard. To … More Acceptance of mental illness starts with you and me
I am a saver. I tried to save my marriage. I tried to save my former husband. I tried to save my little family we created. I tried to save the image and dream I thought I wanted for my life. I tried by loving fiercely. Living in fear. Controlled by insecurities. Tightening the hold … More Saving myself
I wish I could say it is a beautiful, graceful, elegant dance. With me, executing each step precisely and correctly. Hitting the mark with each turn, each twirl, each jump. A show everyone would want to watch. Maybe even a few would brave the dance themselves. But the truth is moving forward looks a lot … More The art of moving forward
Lately, the good days have been adding up. The struggle through the holidays wasn’t as brutal. Laughter and smiles more frequent and less forced. Favorite activities such as reading and exploring are present and active. My tools and antidepressants are working. And working well. Everything I do on a daily basis to treat my depression … More I will never stop treating my depression
Last week, I made the decision to call my doctor and increase my antidepressant medication for the winter. I dread the holidays. And the last two winters left me in a severe and active depressive state. Therefore, this year, I am being proactive and increase my meds and introducing new tools and techniques in helping … More Tools and techniques for seasonal affective disorder and depression
Lovely in the Dark 