I wish I could say it is a beautiful, graceful, elegant dance. With me, executing each step precisely and correctly. Hitting the mark with each turn, each twirl, each jump. A show everyone would want to watch. Maybe even a few would brave the dance themselves. But the truth is moving forward looks a lot … More The art of moving forward
Lately, the good days have been adding up. The struggle through the holidays wasn’t as brutal. Laughter and smiles more frequent and less forced. Favorite activities such as reading and exploring are present and active. My tools and antidepressants are working. And working well. Everything I do on a daily basis to treat my depression … More I will never stop treating my depression
As I am facing down the third anniversary of the end of my marriage, I am bombarded with flashbacks. Those days leading up and after. How scared I was. How hurt I was. How flabbergasted I was. Not understanding why or how this was happening. Yet, I remember thinking that this is short term. Soon … More I am not getting over my divorce
Here you are. In a place you never thought you would be in. Single, separated, divorced. Whether it was mutual, unwanted, or your decision, life, right now, is going to be very very hard. There is no guidebook. No 10-step program. No expiration date. So friend, I want to help. I want to be real … More To the newly single momma
Last week, I made the decision to call my doctor and increase my antidepressant medication for the winter. I dread the holidays. And the last two winters left me in a severe and active depressive state. Therefore, this year, I am being proactive and increase my meds and introducing new tools and techniques in helping … More Tools and techniques for seasonal affective disorder and depression
I don’t love motherhood. Not every day. Not every hour. Not every minute. It takes so much out of me. Demands all of me. It is exhausting. It is overwhelming. It is all consuming. I don’t love the endless laundry and cleaning. But I do love teaching my sons how to be responsible and contribute … More I don’t love motherhood
I downloaded the album of O.A.R’s Live on Red Rock’s and after one of the songs, the lead singer, Marc Roberge, says a few words of appreciation. “I am going try to put words together here, but the most basic and the most simple thing I could possibly say is thank you, thank you, thank … More When I say thank you
Mama. The whispered voice is heard coming from my open bedroom door. My seven year old walks over to me, sweating and pale. Mama. I just threw up. I push the warm covers off and sit up, wrapping my arms around him. I get him cleaned up and settled back into my bed. I am … More The loneliness of single motherhood
I forgive you. These words came out of my mouth suddenly. Unexpectedly. Unintended. In the midst of crying and pain, I said these three simple words. Simple but powerful words. The churning and clenching in my stomach stopped. The shaking subsided. Calmness overcame me. I said them again. Louder. Clearer. Steadier. I meant it. Years … More I forgave him and I will do it again and again
I have always been scared. Scared of the unknown. Getting hurt. Living alone. Being left. Not having enough money. Not being liked or pretty enough or smart enough or sexy enough. Making mistakes. Enduring physical assault. Feeling pain. I lived a very long time allowing my fears to live for me. When my marriage was … More Today, these are my fears
