I thought I was doing a really good job of letting go of my perfectionism. But it a part of me that keeps popping up over and over again. I am much better about striving for perfect. Giving up control. Giving it to God. All those fun little sayings. Here is the thing about me. … More How do I stop trying to be good and just be me?
I have been told multiple times that anger is a secondary emotion. Meaning, there is another emotion driving the anger. The primary emotion usually grief, hurt, betrayal, loneliness. People would rather feel the anger than expose and accept the real issue. Some people thrive off of anger and wrap it around themselves like a shield. … More So I am angry
We are changed people. I know this. I acknowledge this. Yet, sometimes my heart remembers a time where we weren’t. We were the two young adults madly in love with each other. We were giddy about our relationship, our future, our life together. In my decade with him, I never lost those butterflies whenever I … More We are changed people
The other night in a conversation with a friend, she mentioned a time pre-cancer for her. I said, oh before I knew you. You wouldn’t have been friends with me pre-divorce. She laughed. No, I am serious and it would have been because of me. She chuckles but I was being honest. My friend only … More Believe me when I say I have changed
Blooming. That is my 2018 word. Now what? What does that mean to me? How will I do this? How do I bloom? When I think of something blooming, I imagine sunlight, warmth, joy, happiness, color, smiles. Honestly, that sounds pretty easy. A little sun, water, and soil. Viola. A blooming flower. But for how … More Am I brave enough to bloom?
I wrote this last December. Right around the one year mark. Looking back on this year, I have done a pretty good job of staying true to these resolutions. And staying true to myself. Divorce is the death of someone who is still living. And in the past 365 days, I have grieved, cried, mourned, … More My second year resolutions: living after divorce
Pride. A word that has many meanings. A feeling or deep pleasure derived from one’s own achievements. The consciousness of one’s own dignity. The quality of having an excessively high opinion of oneself or one’s importance. The last sentence. The last sentence is true for me. I held myself up to a higher standard. I … More Swallowing My Pride
I fell in love with someone yesterday. Actually it has been happening for a few months. I just realized it now. I am almost giddy with it. I am smiling now as I think of this love. It’s me. I love ME. In college, I was so excited to branch out of my small town … More My Marriage Failed-And I Finally Learned To Love Myself
I have a confession to make. I lied. To all of you. See, I was adamant about how I was not going to go on a dating app. Nope. Not gonna do it. Not me. Well, guess what? I did. And I am. Now, before you become upset with me, I told the truth. Everything … More I lied about not being on a dating app
Waiting. Waiting for the pain to pass. Waiting for the week to be over. Waiting for my child to sleep through the night. Waiting for the next paycheck. Waiting for school to start. Waiting for the phone to ring. Waiting for my children to be older and more independent. Waiting to fall in love, get … More The Thin Line of Waiting