Blooming. That is my 2018 word. Now what? What does that mean to me? How will I do this? How do I bloom? When I think of something blooming, I imagine sunlight, warmth, joy, happiness, color, smiles. Honestly, that sounds pretty easy. A little sun, water, and soil. Viola. A blooming flower. But for how … More Am I brave enough to bloom?
I wrote this last December. Right around the one year mark. Looking back on this year, I have done a pretty good job of staying true to these resolutions. And staying true to myself. Divorce is the death of someone who is still living. And in the past 365 days, I have grieved, cried, mourned, … More My second year resolutions: living after divorce
Pride. A word that has many meanings. A feeling or deep pleasure derived from one’s own achievements. The consciousness of one’s own dignity. The quality of having an excessively high opinion of oneself or one’s importance. The last sentence. The last sentence is true for me. I held myself up to a higher standard. I … More Swallowing My Pride
I fell in love with someone yesterday. Actually it has been happening for a few months. I just realized it now. I am almost giddy with it. I am smiling now as I think of this love. It’s me. I love ME. In college, I was so excited to branch out of my small town … More My Marriage Failed-And I Finally Learned To Love Myself
I have a confession to make. I lied. To all of you. See, I was adamant about how I was not going to go on a dating app. Nope. Not gonna do it. Not me. Well, guess what? I did. And I am. Now, before you become upset with me, I told the truth. Everything … More I lied about not being on a dating app
Waiting. Waiting for the pain to pass. Waiting for the week to be over. Waiting for my child to sleep through the night. Waiting for the next paycheck. Waiting for school to start. Waiting for the phone to ring. Waiting for my children to be older and more independent. Waiting to fall in love, get … More The Thin Line of Waiting
I love you. Three words I use everyday. I tell my family when I see them or talk to them. My boys hear me say it approximately a gazillion times a day. That is not an exaggeration either. But up until my separation, I had a difficult time telling my friends I love you. I … More When I say, I love you
I had been feeling the sadness in the background. It was lingering, but I held it back. I woke Sunday morning and I couldn’t stop it. The grief overwhelmed my ability to run from it. I cried all day. Tears spilling down. Silently. Loudly. I cried at church. I cried at Target. I cried shucking … More Accepting the grief
I remember flipping through my issues of Glamour and seeing articles about how the 30s are the best years of a woman’s life. Me in my mid-twenties was like, how can anything beat this decade. College. Legally drink. Getting married. Having babies. No way is 30 better than 20. Today, I can agree with this. … More My 30s are my best years yet
This divorce has taken a beating on my confidence and self worth. Well, actually, I think I have always had a problem with those two things. I have never been confident in my relationships. With my husband or my friends. I don’t know why. Maybe because I never was vulnerable enough or believed in them … More To my tribe, I am sorry for not believing in you.