Lovely in the Dark

I do a lot of bold things. Blogging. Sharing. Voicing. It is kinda easy for me. Okay, not at first. But overall, I don’t pause so much in blasting my fears, tears, and stumbles on the Internet.

My divorce has pushed me out of my comfort zone and blogging has thrown me into a world I never imagined. Being in the spotlight has always been my thing. Cheerleader. Speech and drama. Social Media. I energize from the crowds. However, there are still a few things that make me uncomfortable. Having the camera on me is one of them.

Through one of my blogging friends, I was introduced to Gitzy & Co. I knew I would like her before I even met her. I said yes. I met her for coffee. I let her take my picture. Just me. Only me.

When: Beautiful spring Sunday afternoon in May

Location: Blackstone District, Omaha, NE

Scene: The streets and alleyways were other people could watch and stare

Gitzy (pronounced with a J) made me do it in front of other people! A lot of people. I tried to brush it off like no big deal, but dang I wanted to hide away.  I had to laugh and smile. Jump up and down. Pretend I wasn’t really uncomfortable. I had to be serious. I had to accept the compliments she kept throwing at me. Plus, I had to do this all without a drop of liquid courage.

But here is the thing. I did it. I forced myself out of my comfortable little home I make for myself. I tried something new. Something for me. I dared myself to say yes. The only outcome possible was good. I made a new friend. I laughed. Some of it fake. Most of it real. I got to see how I look through the eyes of someone else. From a woman who wants to empower women to love who they are.

 

I don’t like a few of these photos. Cause that is just me. I think I have a funny face or smile. My nose looks big from this angle or my chin is larger than I like. But most of these photos, I see me. I look happy. I look healthy. I look loved.

 

Seems silly right. These are just a few photos. But for me, I did something that made me nervous. It made me hesitate. It made me look at myself in a different light.

I did it for me. My heart. My soul. My healing. My lovely.

I am so glad I did too.

When was the last time you did the same?