The darkness makes me believe that it will never get better. Every time. When the darkness lasts for a day, a week, a month, a year. I am tricked into believing and accepting this is permanent. Winter is never going to end. The cold never changing. The days will be gloomy, gray, and long forever.
Never doubt in the dark what God has shown you in the light. V. Raymond Edman
Yet, spring always arrives. The sun becomes warmer, soaking into the skin. Days are lighter, beckoning us to come outside and play. Green pops up, coloring the brown landscape of yesterdays. Soon, bulbs planted in the fall bloom. Bright. Vibrant. Beautiful. Bringing smiles to faces.
It never lasts. The darkness is only temporary. It always is. I can feel it slowly fading. Time changed this weekend. Winter is in it’s final days. However, the season isn’t going out without a fight. Cold, windy, and dreary. Making me ache. Ache for a change. Ache for something more.
The light shines in the darkness, and the darkness has not overcome it. John 1:5
I was reminded that the darkness can sneak in at any time. Making me think that it will never change. I am doomed to live a life full of hurt and struggles. I cried and asked the same questions I have been asking for awhile. When will it change? When will this finally end? Am I doing something wrong? I got mad at God. Yelling at Him to give me a break. Doesn’t He know that I am tired of the dark?
To trust God in the light is nothing, but trust him in the dark-that is faith. C.H. Spurgeon
And like the coming of Spring, the darkness starts to fade. It will fade. It always does. Just as the seasons always change. Just as the flowers sprout up and bloom. The leaves slowly open up and become full. The sun shines bright and full. Kissing my face. Easing the tension and weight the darkness created.
As I know Spring shows it’s face every year, I know God never allows the hard to stay. He uses the dark to make me stronger, braver, kinder. He grants these struggles so I appreciate the light. I come to rely on Him as I rely on Spring to thaw out the cold.
Maybe you have to know the darkness before you can appreciate the light. Madeline L’Engle
Remember the seasons always change. Spring always comes after Winter. The light God gives me shines brighter than the darkness. I hold on to the faith. I am not ready to let go of it. Even when I am tired, worn down, defeated, disrespected, and left wondering and waiting.
Nothing ever stays the way it is right now. The sun will come up tomorrow. And I am strong enough to get through the night. I am choosing the light.
The light in you is greater than the darkness you have to walk through. Brene Brown