Lovely in the Dark

Kids say the darnedest things. I mean, having conversations with my kids is fun. Seeing how their little minds work.

But have you ever said something to them and were like….um really, did I just say that? Did I really just have to say that out loud to my son?! Yes. Yes I did. I chuckled for a good ten minutes last night at bath time for what came out of my mouth. Before I had children, I would never have imagined these words would come out of my mouth. And now some are regular phrases.

 

No, honey we don’t hit our brother with a bat.

Clothes do not belong in the toilet.

The top of the refrigerator is not for playing.

My car is not a toy.

Please, put your penis back in your pants.

Food is for our mouths, not our noses and ears.

Mommy doesn’t not want to see your penis.

I don’t appreciate it when you fart on my face.

Please don’t lick mommy’s face.

Don’t lick the cement.

Legos do not belong in our ears.

Please don’t touch your butt and then my face.

Knives are not toys.

Go jump on your bed instead of off the stairs.

Don’t lick the car.

These are mommy’s breasts and no they do not belong to you.

Please stop licking your brother.

You may have candy AFTER you eat your chocolate chip pancakes.

We pee in the toilet not on your brother.

Licking the floor is yucky.

It is fun to say fart.

If you two are going to pee at the same time, at least put the lid up!

Yes, you can dip your fruit in ketchup.

No I don’t want to see, touch, or eat your poop.

The fridge is not a good hiding place.

No licking the toilet.

Yes, I know you love your penis.

No, you cannot take a bath in the washing machine.

Honey, we don’t eat paper.

If you are going to fight, just go outside and fight.

Please take the grapes out of your underwear.

STOP LICKING EVERYTHING!!!!

 

Anyone else?! There have been some that I can’t even share on here. But they all have the same theme of poop, pee, and penis. Hahaha.

What is the thing you have said that you never imagined would ever come out of your mouth?!